sisterspock:

animalstalkinginallcaps:

IT’S COOL. IT WAS ONLY MY 30TH BIRTHDAY. WHY WOULD ANYONE SHOW UP?

I’M JUST GOING TO PUT ON ADELE AND PRETEND TO CHASE ALL THE ANTS ON THIS DUVET MY GRANDMA SENT ME.

MAYBE LATER I’LL DRINK THE CABERNET I BOUGHT MYSELF AND TRY TO FIX THE ALARM ON MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK THAT’S BEEN RINGING NONSTOP FOR THREE YEARS.

Haaaaaahaaaaaa